Calling India is bad enough, what with trying to understand the dialects while explaining that the widget on your new Dell isn’t “widgeting” like it should. Getting tech support is like getting canned telephone responses or receiving email from an auto-responder. Whatever you have to say will fall on ears twelve thousand miles away, ears that just don’t get it.
Another true story from the files of NewsDive:
Last month my internet service went out. I called the provider and had to listen to a five-minute automated self-help menu before talking to a customer rep who told me to reboot my computer and perform several other ministrations, such as checking to see whether everything was plugged in and all connections were secure. I still didn’t have service after performing these holy rites.
Not all reps are created equal, so I called back in order to talk with Suribanda instead of Chakramandu, telling her that I had already tried to the reboot fix.
“I am sorry for your having a problem today, sir,” she said. “What I’d like you to do now is reboot your computer.”
“Been there, done that, Suribanda. Not gonna do it again.”
Suribanada and I never hit it off, so I called a third time. By then, I’d figured out how to bypass the automated menu more quickly. When the alluring female American voice said, “It sounds like you’re having a problem, is that right,” I just made animal noises into the phone: “Ogcarklelupowiiiiiiingshick.!”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t understand that response. Please hold for our next representative.”
I was connected with Raj.
“Raj, ole buddy, I’ve called twice before and here’s the deal. Everybody in my neighborhood using your company has lost service—everybody—so don’t tell me to reboot my PC. It’s an area-wide problem, okay? Just check to see whether there’s an outage in my zipcode.”
“I’ll be happy to assist you,” said Raj, “but first let me ask you to reboot your computer.”
“Rabbastinkrifflenoooooooo!” I cried, hanging up.
An NBC report this week said companies are slowly bringing these outsourced jobs back to America because of customer dissatisfaction. I wonder if it will make any difference, though. Nothing ever gets fixed, regardless of whom one speaks with. The companies know they have us by the shorthairs. There are no complaint departments to call, and “contact us” emails go unanswered.
Gone are the days when we had rotary phones. If they went on the fritz, you went to a neighbor's house and called Myrna the operator (she worked downtown), who would send out a lineman named Tex in about an hour.
Picture: Public Domain
Another true story from the files of NewsDive:
Last month my internet service went out. I called the provider and had to listen to a five-minute automated self-help menu before talking to a customer rep who told me to reboot my computer and perform several other ministrations, such as checking to see whether everything was plugged in and all connections were secure. I still didn’t have service after performing these holy rites.
Not all reps are created equal, so I called back in order to talk with Suribanda instead of Chakramandu, telling her that I had already tried to the reboot fix.
“I am sorry for your having a problem today, sir,” she said. “What I’d like you to do now is reboot your computer.”
“Been there, done that, Suribanda. Not gonna do it again.”
Suribanada and I never hit it off, so I called a third time. By then, I’d figured out how to bypass the automated menu more quickly. When the alluring female American voice said, “It sounds like you’re having a problem, is that right,” I just made animal noises into the phone: “Ogcarklelupowiiiiiiingshick.!”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t understand that response. Please hold for our next representative.”
I was connected with Raj.
“Raj, ole buddy, I’ve called twice before and here’s the deal. Everybody in my neighborhood using your company has lost service—everybody—so don’t tell me to reboot my PC. It’s an area-wide problem, okay? Just check to see whether there’s an outage in my zipcode.”
“I’ll be happy to assist you,” said Raj, “but first let me ask you to reboot your computer.”
“Rabbastinkrifflenoooooooo!” I cried, hanging up.
An NBC report this week said companies are slowly bringing these outsourced jobs back to America because of customer dissatisfaction. I wonder if it will make any difference, though. Nothing ever gets fixed, regardless of whom one speaks with. The companies know they have us by the shorthairs. There are no complaint departments to call, and “contact us” emails go unanswered.
Gone are the days when we had rotary phones. If they went on the fritz, you went to a neighbor's house and called Myrna the operator (she worked downtown), who would send out a lineman named Tex in about an hour.
Picture: Public Domain
4 comments:
My 'bad credit" side of my credit report has four internet provider companies saying I owe them money.
ALl four are for slightly different reasons (one wants me to pay for 9 months of service I never recieved because they did not turn me off and I could have "stolen" service from them).
The point being, everytime I went with a big name provider, they gave me lousy service, I cancelled the service, and they charged me for an extra month I wouldn't pay.
I thought about an accusation of extortion but settled on ignoring them UNTIL NOW.
Scott, go for it. One rep told me I was clearly connected to the net according to his screen. My PC wasn't even turned on. They stonewall me on everything.
Oh, the nightmares. I had a good experience of Dell's customer service on the side of the globe but a horrible time with my compatriots working for Charter. It seems to me Dell wants me to buy their product but Charter knows they're my only choice for cable. I don't know. I do know it's a strange thing that we invest so much in our computers and Internet connections yet we receive so little in return by way of service. If only we could afford to find some humor in this. Hmm....
Sandy, thanks for stopping by. I gave up calling tech support for almost everything. When the service returns ... it returns :)
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