Warning labels always make me laugh. Take Viagra, for example. “Always consult a doctor if you have an erection lasting longer than four hours.” So does this mean that a couple should set an alarm clock? Everything is fine at three hours and fifty-nine minutes, but oh boy, at four hours and one minute, call 911—and fast!
A misprint on one label said the following: “Do not take if you are pregnant or nursing, or think you might be pregnant or nursing.” Are some women unaware that they’re nursing?
I purchased a box of crackers at one of those super-duper shopping clubs, like Sam’s or Costco. The side panel on the box said: WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD. So what does one do with the crackers? Use ‘em for coasters?
My bottle of sleeping pills says, WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS. Sure glad the company cleared that up. I was beginning to wonder why I slept all night.
My favorites are the warnings on pain meds, admonishing me not to operate heavy machinery after ingesting the pills. Yep, after I sprain my back or break an arm, that’s my first impulse—to climb aboard a bulldozer and do some construction work.
My TV instruction booklet says to turn off the set during severe weather. My local TV station tells me to always stay turned for updates during severe weather. Surely the left hand does not know what the right is doing.
It’s all because we live in an age of constant litigation, I suppose. Everyone has to be warned of everything, such hot coffee at McDonald’s. But then why doesn’t Dairy Queen have to warn customers about potential brain freeze?
Ironically, we are constantly warned about global warming even though no one does much about it. Trucks roar down the highway, spewing clouds of exhaust into the air from the pipes over their cabs, causing motorists behind them to turn off the AC for five minutes. I don’t want to breathe all that smoke on the highway, but where are the warnings on the sides of big rigs about the health of my lungs? Why can’t I sue a semi for failing to warn me about emphysema? There are many things killing planet earth in 2008, but you won’t see or hear any warnings about them. The warnings are reserved for cracker boxes.
Life puzzles me.
Picture: Public Doman
A misprint on one label said the following: “Do not take if you are pregnant or nursing, or think you might be pregnant or nursing.” Are some women unaware that they’re nursing?
I purchased a box of crackers at one of those super-duper shopping clubs, like Sam’s or Costco. The side panel on the box said: WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD. So what does one do with the crackers? Use ‘em for coasters?
My bottle of sleeping pills says, WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS. Sure glad the company cleared that up. I was beginning to wonder why I slept all night.
My favorites are the warnings on pain meds, admonishing me not to operate heavy machinery after ingesting the pills. Yep, after I sprain my back or break an arm, that’s my first impulse—to climb aboard a bulldozer and do some construction work.
My TV instruction booklet says to turn off the set during severe weather. My local TV station tells me to always stay turned for updates during severe weather. Surely the left hand does not know what the right is doing.
It’s all because we live in an age of constant litigation, I suppose. Everyone has to be warned of everything, such hot coffee at McDonald’s. But then why doesn’t Dairy Queen have to warn customers about potential brain freeze?
Ironically, we are constantly warned about global warming even though no one does much about it. Trucks roar down the highway, spewing clouds of exhaust into the air from the pipes over their cabs, causing motorists behind them to turn off the AC for five minutes. I don’t want to breathe all that smoke on the highway, but where are the warnings on the sides of big rigs about the health of my lungs? Why can’t I sue a semi for failing to warn me about emphysema? There are many things killing planet earth in 2008, but you won’t see or hear any warnings about them. The warnings are reserved for cracker boxes.
Life puzzles me.
Picture: Public Doman
2 comments:
Life puzzles me too Billy but this post did make me smile:-)
I think 'they' assume that if we concentrate on the small stuff, we're so stupid, we won't notice what's really going on.
On a packet of peanuts is the warning 'May contain nuts'. Well, who'd have thought it?
Lane, I think you're onto something about "they." You've got a plot for a conspiracy novel!
LOL on the bag of nuts comment -:)
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