Invasions are passé. At least the ones with guns, bombs, and live ammo. If America really wants to westernize the world, it needs to do so with McDonalds, Burger King, KFC, Dunkin Donuts, and Baskin and Robbins. While we’re at it, lets give naughty countries WalMart and Mervyns so they can buy sans-a-belt slacks when those tummies start to bulge like a pregnant woman carrying twins.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with any of the above establishments, all of which I’ve frequented, but if we want countries like Iran to put away their fuel rods, let’s give them the heart and soul of capitalism: material possessions. Put away the preaching and the carrier groups and the saber-rattling rhetoric. All our enemies need is some food addictions.
Think I’m joking? No. If we would have lifted the embargo on Cuba long ago and moved in some fast food restaurants and department stores, Fidel would already have packed his bags and skedaddled to Bolivia, exiled by Starbucks and Quizznos. It’s war on the cheap, and no one gets hurt except by free will: to eat or not to eat; that is the question. Guerilla warfare never tasted so good.
But do we really want to Americanize the world? Is it the moral thing to do? It certainly is for George Bush, although I reserve the right to disagree that he receives his mandates from God. If the neocons have their way, we will one day look into the eyes of someone halfway around the world and say, “We have seen the enemy, and he is us.” If it has to happen, however, I’d rather see it done with ice cream than bullets. In the long run, it’s easier to write prescriptions for Plavix than to dig graves and establish permanent military bases.
(Picture: Public Domain)
There’s nothing inherently wrong with any of the above establishments, all of which I’ve frequented, but if we want countries like Iran to put away their fuel rods, let’s give them the heart and soul of capitalism: material possessions. Put away the preaching and the carrier groups and the saber-rattling rhetoric. All our enemies need is some food addictions.
Think I’m joking? No. If we would have lifted the embargo on Cuba long ago and moved in some fast food restaurants and department stores, Fidel would already have packed his bags and skedaddled to Bolivia, exiled by Starbucks and Quizznos. It’s war on the cheap, and no one gets hurt except by free will: to eat or not to eat; that is the question. Guerilla warfare never tasted so good.
But do we really want to Americanize the world? Is it the moral thing to do? It certainly is for George Bush, although I reserve the right to disagree that he receives his mandates from God. If the neocons have their way, we will one day look into the eyes of someone halfway around the world and say, “We have seen the enemy, and he is us.” If it has to happen, however, I’d rather see it done with ice cream than bullets. In the long run, it’s easier to write prescriptions for Plavix than to dig graves and establish permanent military bases.
(Picture: Public Domain)
2 comments:
I agree. How can they hate us when we've given them happy meals?
Lots of high energy here, Mr. billy. You're off to a good start!
Thanks, Scott. It's fun, if nothing else.
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